NWScript:

void main()

{

 ClearAllActions();

 object oNearest = GetNearestObject(OBJECT_TYPE_ITEM, OBJECT_SELF);

 if (GetIsObjectValid(oNearest))

 {

  ActionMoveToObject(oNearest, TRUE, 1.0f);

  int nSay0 = Random(4);

  if (nSay0 == 1)

  {

   SpeakString("Ooo, stuff!");

  }

  else if (nSay0 == 2)

  {

   SpeakString("It's -MINE-");

  }

  else if (nSay0 == 3)

  {

   SpeakString("Old guy comin' through!");

  }

  else if (nSay0 == 0)

  {

   SpeakString("Ahahaha, gold for the old!");

  }

  ActionPickUpItem(oNearest);

 }

 else

 {

  int nRand = Random(3);

  if (nRand == 1)

  {

   ActionRandomWalk();

   int nSay1 = Random(4);

   if (nSay1 == 1)

   {

    SpeakString("*sigh*");

   }

   else if (nSay1 == 2)

   {

    SpeakString("Walk, walk, walk. It's all I do!");

   }

   else if (nSay1 == 3)

   {

    SpeakString("Must.. find.. stuff!");

   }

   else if (nSay1 == 0)

   {

    SpeakString("*cough*");

   }

  }

  else if (nRand == 2)

  {

   object oFollow = GetNearestCreature(CREATURE_TYPE_CLASS, CLASS_TYPE_COMMONER);

   ActionForceFollowObject(oFollow);

   int nSay2 = Random(4);

   if (nSay2 == 1)

   {

    SpeakString("Here I come!");

   }

   else if (nSay2 == 2)

   {

    SpeakString("Bum rush!");

   }

   else if (nSay2 == 3)

   {

    SpeakString("Hahaha!");

   }

   else if (nSay2 == 0)

   {

    SpeakString("<This model powered by Energizer. Do you have the Bunny inside?>");

   }

  }

  else if (nRand == 0)

  {

   int nSay3 = Random(4);

   if (nSay3 == 1)

   {

    SpeakString("Uh, what?");

   }

   else if (nSay3 == 2)

   {

    SpeakString("You lookin' at me punk?");

   }

   else if (nSay3 == 3)

   {

    SpeakString("Leave me be!");

   }

   else if (nSay3 == 0)

   {

    SpeakString("Default text goes here. Uhh... huh?");

   }

  }

 }

}